Ugly Yet Beautiful Changes
by Killer300
Summary: Kyon having his gender changed while being sent back to the year 1960 to save the Soviet Union with the rest of the gang by Haruhi? That and more in this crazy tale involving weird politics, cool uniforms, and Haruhi's good old reality warping.
1. Ugly Yet Beautiful Changes

Ugly Yet Beautiful Changes

_What the hell is wrong with me? _

_Why does my sanity flee _

_And my body break free? _

_I now have breasts, tests _

_And have to rest _

_From gym _

_Which is more painful than hymns _

_Sung by idiots supporting immediate _

_Intervention in personal affairs _

_While against care or flare _

_For the poor who glare _

_At the stares _

_From the followers of laize-fair. _

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

_I now have curves and periods _

_Along with a myriad _

_Of other problems _

_Caused by a goblin _

_With powers to alter reality _

_While fatalities _

_And brutality _

_Arise from the finality _

_Of rules from the mentality _

_Of an insane girl who has no formalities _

_And no respect for the legality _

_Of her decisions filled with strange duality. _

_Them being for liberality of body _

_But universality _

_In hospitality _

_And for classes to become unreality. _

Was that poem confusing? If not, you might just be able to help me understand Haruhi, who indirectly caused the creation of this poem. Yes, I wrote it but I think I was confused out of my mind and also a little drunk. The latter comes from vodka passed to me, and the former comes from being tossed into one of the strangest Haruhi schemes ever, and Haruhi isn't even present. I have Mikuru, Yuki, and Itsuki fortunately, but no Haruhi I'm afraid. The only reason we even know what we're supposed to do is because of Yuki being contacted by the Data Integration Entity combined with a lucky guess from Itsuki.

What are we supposed to do? Why make the Soviet Union win the cold war of course. Oh, and make it democratic with a better civil rights record too. How do we know this? Okay, Yuki was contacted by the Data Integration Entity who told us we were in the year 1960. It also told us that Haruhi had recently subconsciously wished for this. "I want a world without nations, war, and classes."

How did the Data Integration Entity figure this out? I don't know but it's fortunate it did because otherwise we would've had nowhere to go. Then, Itsuki guessed that Haruhi wanted us to save the Soviet Union from collapse, something to do with finding similarities to Marx, but that she also probably wanted more civil rights. I'm guessing the latter guess comes from Haruhi wanting artistic freedom or something, but who knows. Okay, why in the world is Haruhi a communist? Any suggestions? Because I have no idea, but you know what? This all gets even worse, because Haruhi changed my gender, made Yuki the head of the Soviet Union, took away Mikuru's time travel device, and turned Itsuki into, a random guy with too much money on his hands. I'm not kidding with that last one, Itsuki spawned in as some rich author who got money from his book, which sent shockwaves through Japan. Why? Apparently, his book had erotic undertones but it became so popular that it stayed legal.

But anyway, we were stuck in a time loop. Until we changed reality so the Soviet Union at least survived the Cold War, that part we figured out through a weird psychology analysis, and the Soviet Union gets a civil rights record at least on the level of the United States. Okay, we've been through this time loop three times now. Yuki has tried hundreds of different policies, doing everything from partial liberalization of the economy or weird planning to syndicalism. What are these things? I'll explain later, however the real issue we discovered was trying to make the Soviet Union have a better civil rights record. We actually can make the Soviet Union perform better than the U.S. with planned economics as inefficient as they are, however improving civil rights at the same time is difficult. Well, we'll figure that part out over time I guess.

At first, we were totally confused. It took us one week to figure out the stuff with Haruhi. Fortunately, for some reason we were all in the same place. Well, okay, Mikuru was admittedly supposed to be a weird bodyguard, and Itsuki is a, "Expert On Western Culture," which is really just an extremely fancy way of saying that he knows a lot about what's popular in the West. This, oddly, includes Japan because Japan is still free from the Soviet Union. Not that it was ever taken in normal history, however we will probably have to change that. I myself was a, "Entertainment Expert," for Yuki, which basically meant I was supposed to design entertainment to increase loyalty and entertain the populace. I was different from the propaganda department because I primarily made movies. I had recently made some movie that was so good; it was getting secret sales over in the U.S. The movie was called, "The Gutter," and was basically about a man in the U.S. becoming degraded by capitalism physically and morally. The entire movie ended on him committing suicide after his wife has been raped, and all of his children have either drowned in mud or killed by thugs working for the man's boss.

Okay, I need to more fully explain Mikuru's job. She apparently is supposed to protect Yuki from, "Threats from an unusual or unexpected source," which means she carries lots of random crap around. These include drugs meant to destroy brainwashing, a pocket watch that is supposedly able to stop hypnosis through counter hypnosis, and a flower which has a scent supposed to be able to increase intelligence. You know is really creepy, all this crap actually works. The drugs can interrupt intoxication, normal hallucinations, drug induced hallucinations like from LSD, and can counter almost any poison imaginable to name a few. The pocket watch actually can counter hypnosis because it can hypnotize itself easily. Why? Well, it is very shiny in a good way, and it has a very beautiful design that draws in your eyes, allowing for easy hypnosis. The flower causes one to have an increase in intelligence because it causes one to think incredibly fast, allowing one to process information far faster than normal. But, the plant can also cause hallucinations if abused, so it is only used in extreme situations, and ironically never on Yuki, but rather on her advisors normally.

How did Mikuru get these things? I have no idea, she just had them when we, appeared basically. We came in the middle of meeting and we had to learn a lot very quickly, which we fortunately did, or we would've been killed possibly. Yeah, count on Haruhi to suddenly have you kind of, appear, in the middle of a FREAKING DIPLOMATIC MEETING! Seriously, we might have accidentally caused nuclear war. Well, considering Haruhi probably doesn't exactly have the highest respect ever for the safety of billions of people, that is to be expected.

Okay, when I said earlier I didn't know why Haruhi was communist, I partially lied. I don't why she is communist, but I do know why she is anti-capitalism. Her father committed suicide when the economy crashed in Japan. It didn't help that her mother died shortly afterwards from cancer in the United States because of something debacle involving health insurance. Add to that adopted parents who are fervent Socialists with the economic crash continuing for so long, and you start to understand the origin of her, dislike of capitalism. You understand why she loathes it when you add in to all of that being traumatized by the Yakuza in an incident that involved a debt her parents had paired with learning her father also committed suicide so that his family would be spared lots of bad debts.

However, it doesn't make sense she would be communist. While her adopted parents are Socialist, they would be anti the Soviet Union because they were also fervent environmentalists and the Soviet Union sucks when it comes to protection of the environment. Somehow, I think Haruhi would be environmentalist too. Something to do with, oh I don't know, an incident involving ECO-TERRORISM! Seriously, she once cut holes in a ton of fuel tanks of cars to make sure they couldn't move. They never caught her, however she once bragged about it to us, and I don't doubt her doing it.

To add to this unlikeliness, she massively supports civil rights, although she did admittedly require that we improve the Soviet Union in that respect, and probably wouldn't be able to get her anime fix in the Soviet Union. Okay, I know this political side of Haruhi is odd, however I didn't even know about it until quite recently. Basically, a creepy diary revealed most of this that she sent me before this all happened. I'm not kidding here, although the environmentalism I did find out from her bragging but at the time I thought she did it because of a conspiracy involving aliens.

Now, her support of civil rights is more because she wants good entertainment, and environmentalism is I think because she wants the government to use a carbon tax to fund things more often, but her Socialism is more genuine. So, perhaps that is why she would support the Soviet Union? Okay, but if that's the case, why make us change things? Why not just alter reality where that is the case? Does she want us to prove that we are worth a damn by doing this and become "enlightened" in the process? Oh wait, I know the reason. It's that, and I pissed her off recently by attempting to leave the SOS Brigade. Yeah, the results involved sending me a package that contained the creepy diary and what we have here perhaps. Yeah, I guess I should learn to not ever screw around with Haruhi.

You know, Haruhi now is very frightening in comparison to her old self because now, not only is she incredibly insane, she is also extremely political, and that would be like force feeding some kid with severe ADHD a couple grams of crack. That kid still wouldn't be as dangerous because he isn't omnipotent, while Haruhi kind of is. Yes, I'm sorry all of you religious people, but it looks a girl that would make the average conspiracy theorist look perfectly sane by comparison is as close as we will have to a god, not someone that is wise and loving I'm afraid. But hey, I'm sure knowing you guys, you can find a way to make Haruhi seem holy and make a new religion called Haruhism that will be the envy of everyone, right? I mean, I'm sure you can make the religions lately look ludicrous somehow. Anything is possible through religion these days, and in the past. Why would that be any different here?

Now, I bet you're wondering what I look like. Well, Haruhi did quite a number on me. She gave me HUGE breasts, other generous curves, grew out my now red hair until it covered my back, and finally, cut a few centimeters off my height. Fortunately, I'm allowed to hide all this through a Soviet Union style uniform that includes a massive jacket for some reason. Speaking of which, this uniform is AWESOME! Even Mikuru suddenly looks tough in it, which means Haruhi cares about the clothing of the Soviet Union? Odd, but hey, I'm happy, because I now look like a freaking bad ass despite my new feminine figure because of these clothes. The uniform is a mix of black, and red to create this very cool look that action heroes would be envious of. Again, I'm not totally sure why Haruhi decided the Soviet Union needed to look badass but hey, it's fine with me. Even the hat I wear is awesome, because it completes the military combined with sleuth look that I think the whole suit is going for. Over all, this world is both really bad, and kind of cool with the uniforms. But hey, with Haruhi involved, do you ever really know what to expect of things?


	2. Foreign Policy and Economics

Foreign Policy and Economics 101

Okay, I never thought that politics and insanity would mix so literally together. Well, considering politics is possibly the most insane thing humanity ever came up with, easily beating surrealist art in that contest so sorry Salvadori Dali but you lose that contest, it fits Haruhi perfectly I guess. Don't believe me? What other field of study does one take up where one does anything necessary to get tons of people to vote for them? If there was a policy proposal that would require everyone to watch anime three times a day, there would be politicians waiting to pass the proposal. Okay, actually, this has already kind of happened, scale wise although I'm sure something like this is coming.

Even considering all that though, WHY HARUHI? Why do you have to break the only barrier to totally defying all sanity, one that I didn't even really realize existed until recently, by becoming a political extremist? Why do you keep on shattering any possibility of me living a peaceful life in creative ways? Okay, actually I think I know that, you really want to punish me don't you, so actually the question I have is WHY IN THE WORLD DID YOU CHANGE MY GENDER? Seriously? Did you suddenly become a huge fan of the manga Pretty Face and wanted to take things up a level? Speaking of which that is an awesome manga I encourage people to read however this is, the most extreme type of fanfiction imaginable. It's almost like Haruhi just wanted to see what would happen if she mixed the Soviet Union and gender bender fiction somehow.

Actually, that explains a lot. Maybe Haruhi is just a really insane fan girl who has far too much power and fantasies involving boys together? Okay, I'm not going to think about that last part and I really hope that isn't true, although this may be the only time that Haruhi molesting Mikuru is evidence against something bad. The first part though explains her insane behavior and perhaps why she likes strange scenarios. However, why is she then extremely political on top of it? Does insanity and politics really flow together that well? I guess so, all things considered.

The reason I bring all this up is because any sane person would be wondering why in the world Haruhi would change my gender. The answer you probably gleaned from all that are also the theories that I have about Haruhi's insanity too. Well, at least the fan girl theory. I have numerous others, including the conspiracy theorist theory and the got exposed to LSD as a child theories too, however those are for another time. Like when I get to beat the crap out of Itsuki and interrogate him on Haruhi's insanity, but that's for another time right?

Speaking of things that have been settled, time to talk about our first through. The first thing we tried was to use Yuki's incredible capabilities to run a perfect planned economy until we could develop supercomputers to do it for us. For foreign policy, Yuki decided to be VERY aggressive. This actually worked out very well, until a nuclear exchange. But, why summarize things when I can describe them to you. After all, it would be nice for someone to share my pain with me.

So, what did happen at first with Yuki's planning? Well, she was able to turn Russia's economy into an economic powerhouse that easily competes with the U.S. We avoided all the famines the Soviet Union in normal reality did and actually out produced the U.S. in agriculture, which is quite impressive. However, the most impressive part of the economy was the heavy industries, like steel production. We were so good at doing stuff like making steel and tanks that we soon had only 3% of our GDP devoted to military spending while having a military three times the size of the one in the U.S. I mean, sure we cheated a little about introducing lots of industrial technologies that shouldn't have existed for at least 60 years probably and we happened to know food growing techniques that I don't think anyone has ever known, however we deserve some credit. We made the Soviet Union have one of the most amazing transportation networks ever though. You can get anywhere in the Soviet Union by train, food is transported within hours to anywhere it is needed, and finally, we have bullet trains decades before they are supposed to exist.

Okay, how did we get all these technologies? Why, by Yuki implanting them in the minds of Russian citizens allowing us a significant technologic advantage and making it appear that planned economics allows for massive technologic growth. Speaking of which, our military, despite the seemingly low funds given to it, is actually far more powerful than its normal reality equivalent. We're talking here having millions of men and each one being armed with cheap but incredibly effective assault rifles. Because we can produce our weapons cheaply, we have sold them to groups that support us, or sometimes even just plain given them, to encourage communism around the world.

Speaking of foreign policy, ours was very interesting. It mainly focused on interrupting stuff the U.S. tried through our own version of containment. They lost Vietnam a LOT earlier and suffered MASSIVE casualties from it. Why? Well, new weapons provided by us of course. When they overthrew the legit guy in Iran, we overthrew the guy they imposed and put in our guy to replace him. We took all of the Middle East through a mix of brute force and special politics. The former was successful because we knew how the terrorists were going to act in advance and advanced weapons that were the envy of the United States.

The real final blow against the United States was we cutting off their oil with the Middle East. Their economy crashed massively, and when we reported some of their foreign policy decisions to press organizations everywhere, the U.S. fell apart internally. Their economy was far too oil dependent, and they were losing faith in markets. Probably something to do with our ultra efficient, seemingly, planned economy. In truth though, the end was coming very soon for our first time loop.

The first problem really was that Yuki was overworked. Yes, Yuki, the person who would make supercomputers look pathetic in operating power by comparison is becoming exhausted. Probably because she has to equations constantly that involve millions of variables IN HER FREAKING HEAD! This was probably why she looking forward so heavily to when we would FINALLY get supercomputers with high enough operating capacity to take over most of the equations so she could rest. At first, she actually loved doing all those equations, sort of, because it was an interesting challenge. But then, she got tired of them, especially since she couldn't even appear to be doing them, which is why she had to do them in her head. Add to that having to give motivational speeches constantly paired with trying to appear at least somewhat human to others in normal social situations, and you start to understand why Yuki for the very first time is exhausted by work overload.

You know what though? She seems, happy. It's the strangest thing, but it's as if she loves the challenge of it all. I guess watching Haruhi all day must get boring and perhaps she felt as if her abilities were being wasted. I guess one has to admit that watching a being like Haruhi all day would probably get rather boring. Yes, even though Haruhi is an eco-terrorist that would make the average kid with ADHD seem like the calmest person ever, I still think that would get boring. Now, she has a challenge that truly utilized all her capabilities. Running a massive society and managing every single economic function of it. That's the ultimate challenge, and one that Yuki loves. But, it's exhausting her.

The second problem was our foreign policy was moving us VERY close to nuclear war. Remember the Cuban Missile Crisis? Yeah, imagine the Venezuela missile crisis and imagine that this time, both leaders are hard liners. The president would probably call Hitler a friend in private, as the United States had become fascist from martial law being declared in order to fight us. Yeah, kind of happens when you turn a press against a country that is supposed to be a democracy. Freedom is very fragile like that.

Speaking of which, that brings us to our third and final problem. We hadn't been able to introduce very many civil rights or political freedoms while we were in control. We had freedom of speech, and that was basically it. The press was still controlled by the government, and civil rights hadn't really advanced. Everyone was equal, yes, and women's rights actually were pretty good considering the amount of women in the government, but we didn't really add many rights wise from the founding of the government. Yeah, I think Yuki justified it with the destruction of America first clause. It basically stated, "Until the United States and similar enemies cease to exist, our government is too at risk to have freedoms."

This isn't apparently lost on our enemies however this does prove we are all moral hypocrites doesn't it? However, the real thing that would cause our collapse was the first two problems. Eventually, a nuclear exchange occurred which caused the collapse of civilization, as we knew it. But, the real error was that Yuki was overworked and therefore, 'forgot' in a sense to build a missile defense system. Or rather, to 'teach' the skills necessary to do so to people who would bring the skills necessary to invent the technology for a missile defense system.

When the nuclear weapons hit their targets, and we died, we found ourselves in a strange transition period briefly. It was in this period that we discussed so much, despite it seeming so short. Yuki planned a partial privatization until computers arose to do most of the work for her, and all of the work for future leaders. Before that, we needed to create a missile defense system so that the most vital parts of the Soviet Union would be invulnerable to that fate. Finally, we decided for foreign policy to stay as aggressive, but to make sure the U.S. remained democratic through declaring our own democratic intentions. That way, we both become a democracy and make the U.S. look even worse.

Now, before we could continue on, we had to apparently hear some long speech from Haruhi. This one was on the importance of using eco friendly technologies and not destroying the Earth with nuclear weapons. I'm really hoping that being environmentally consciousness didn't enter among our goals too because that would make this virtually impossible unless Yuki gets god like powers suddenly. However, if that happened than it would beg the question of, "Why didn't Haruhi just do it for us?" Wouldn't it be easier and faster for her to do it for us? Either she is the laziest person imaginable in some ways, although I don't think her powers really take any sort of physical or significant mental effort on her part, or she wants us to prove to her we are worth a damn. The latter just sounds offensive however respect for people's feeling is not one of Haruhi's virtues. Not that she has any virtues except courage perhaps, so I can't really see that working out. Well, here's to hoping we get it right next time, considering we are stuck in a time loop until we succeed.


	3. Cycles and Democratic Destruction

Cycles and Democratic Destruction

Okay, we had a major problem. You see, we carried out the partial privatization but the economy crashed on us because of this. Yeah, we were destroyed by an economic crash that we built an economy around to prevent. Yeah, it sucked and stunk of Haruhi. Look, what are the chances of privatizing something and it IMMEDIATELY crashing? Yeah, even if you are heavily anti-capitalist, you've got to admit that sounds rather suspicious. But, that wasn't even the only thing working against us. Before that, we almost lost the election, something to do with Stalin and all, when we tried to introduce a democracy.

Yeah, okay, our second time lasted approximately one year. Yeah, it sucked. However, this time our transition period was much longer and I can describe how bad the crash was before hand. Of course, I should before then talk about the behavior of the West during all of this. Okay, it collapsed too. I think, just to screw with us, Haruhi decided that an economic crash the size of the Stock Market Crash that can only be blamed on markets had to be created. Seriously, this crash is too perfect, the only markets that crashed were the ones that were private and, in the case of the West, were industries trying to remove regulations placed on them at the time. If you were on Wall Street, the crash had been orchestrated in such a way that you would become dirt poor no matter how much money you had.

What caused the crash? A combination of a bad crop from some jerk running off with money and bankers making some stupid investments caused a crash the size of the Stock Market Depression. Massive economic depression basically caused all the governments to be overthrown and replaced by, anarchism? Not sure, we died shortly afterwards from riots that would make the Russian Revolution seem like a calm affair by comparison. So, time loop once again!

Okay, since apparently the restriction with capitalism is, "If you privatize anything, THE ECONOMY SHALL IMMEDIATELY CRASH, SOCIETY SHALL BURN, AND YOU SHALL DIE," we had to find a different solution than that. Fortunately, there is this wonderful ideology called Syndicalism, which should be perfectly fine under Haruhi's rules. The workers run the factories instead of the managers. Okay, that works and considering it's a type of co-operative economy, we should be set. There were plenty of socialists behind this idea, and we would have the support of unions everywhere. Okay, maybe only the CNT in Span and similar extremists but that's different.

Anyway, before we can to, I must explain more about what happened the first time. Okay, before the economic crash, which was about a week, we had issues with the people at large. Yeah, massive slaughters brought on by Stalin and famines probably don't help things. So, when an election was coming up, they were voting overwhelming against us. Yeah, we declared an emergency, which caused them to question the polls. It also doesn't help that Yuki isn't the most charismatic president ever. Would you follow someone who always talks in the same voice tone regardless of the situation? Yuki has a hard time showing emotion.

This all brings us back to that in between period. Okay, you probably guessed I'm dancing around the issue for some reason because I wasted tons of space by talking about the same event over and over? Well, it's just such a freaky event, all things considered. Look, when you someone being rather preachy with orchestral music playing in the background while images of starving children is broadcasted, you start to understand the situation. Add in being in a room that is completely black except the images shown and you start to understand the confusion. Finally, throw in the most innocent looking girl imaginable whom looks like she has almost starved to death, and you get the idea completely.

Okay, we went to the in between period and discussed a lot besides Syndicalism. The first thing that happened there was Haruhi lectured us with all the stuff I mentioned before. Yeah, she makes Upton Sinclair sound incredibly modest and restrained by comparison. Starving children with descriptions done in such a way that would make Stalin weep? Check. A long speech on why big firms dominate everything while using graft? Check. Talking about the Earth like a woman who is being raped heavily by us? Check. Talking about humanity in general in such a way that basically makes her the equivalent of a preacher saying, "REPENT! REPENT!" Check.

When Haruhi left us in peace, we started talking about what to do the third time. Besides the Syndicalism, we decided to in advance start a government project to build the missile defense system like last time, and to immediately switch to green economics. That third one would give us numerous advantages. For one, it would make many communities much more self-sufficient through renewable energy, and therefore reduce the load on Yuki. Secondly, it would make our international presence bigger by starting the environmentalist movement, which would make the U.S. look even worse. Thirdly, it would gain us huge popularity benefits because of the effects of bio philia. What's that? Oh, it's just that humans are far happier around nature, and even gain a massive euphoria effect around it sometimes. It's why even a professional office building has a park in view usually and why hospitals use plants. Finally, our environmentalism will help stab another huge blow into capitalism that our enemies will never recover from.

Besides that, we discussed how much of a balance between Syndicalism and planned economics we would need. It was decided that Syndicalism would take over the entire economy, after it first was used for agriculture and heavy industry. We would still control the military, at first at least, and for a while would direct construction projects among various other things. All of this planning was good; for it allowed Yuki to rest her mind from all the equations she had to do. It also of course allowed us to hopefully avoid some things.

So came the third time loop. Overall, it was educational. Everything went incredibly well at first, with the Syndicalism working incredibly well paired with planned economics and our missile defense system being completed for all critical areas within 3 years. She had given the techs for all the stuff we needed in the planning stage much faster. We now had solar power, wind power, and much better nuclear power. We also had lasers to blow up missiles and had supercomputers pretty early. She was able to do all of this because the Syndicalism took care of enough industries for her to focus on that.

It wasn't problem free. While the populace was much more content, they still weren't probably going to vote for us because of past atrocities, although they did view us as somewhat incredible because of technology. But still, these people are rather picky. Something tells me they represent Haruhi in some weird way, and therefore won't be satisfied until all our goals are accomplished. How else do you explain the populace not being satisfied with all our technology and booming economy? So, we have to get them of civil rights too, which is taking forever. Why? Well, we have to introduce them in such a way that it doesn't threaten the Soviet Union.

Now, of course, we had left the United States in the dust. I mean, we had so much advanced technology, and we were politically ahead of them. With environmentalism backing us, we even found global warming years ahead of other people, and a missile defense system guarding almost the entire Soviet Union by the 1970s, we knew we were going to have the world by the year 1980. We were also still cutting off oil to the U.S., beginning pretty early, which caused them severe problems. Their main weakness was their press again, but this time on how great things were going.

So with all of this, how did we fall? Well, not a nuclear exchange, we controlled the entire world by the year 1980. No, the problem was ironically running into the Data Integration Entity who thought our world government was too totalitarian. Yeah, the only civil rights we really had were women's rights, gay rights, and similar stuff. So, we had the best equality imaginable ever, but we didn't quite have civil rights like Freedom of Press, Freedom of Religion, or Freedom of Speech. The second one actually was probably something Haruhi wanted us to wipe out, after all she probably chose the Soviet Union partly because of how anti-religious it was, however the other two were clearly supposed to rise eventually. They could be Syndicalist, avoiding government corruption AND corporate corruption, and Freedom of Speech was obviously necessary to a democracy.

We also could search people's homes at anytime, obviously violating civil rights, because we found it was great at getting rid of religious terrorists. There was also that matter of suppressing more normal dissent, but hey, sacrifices had to be made to make a successful economy. However, sadly what eventually arose was a violent revolution because we didn't have enough civil rights. Yeah, I see what you're doing Haruhi. If real world leaders had standards like this, than we would in a utopia that would surpass the best expectations of any society imaginable. Really, even Marx's best expectations would be easily surpassed. But anyway, because we have expectations that any normal could never meet, we were in deep shit. We got killed in a violent revolution again, in the year 1990, when had technology on a level that was at least 100 years ahead of our time. Yeah, Haruhi gave us rather high expectations to say the least. At least the people got to have Anarchist Syndicalism.

I'm not kidding with that last part; the entire world becomes Anarchist Syndicalist. Is there some kind weird point Haruhi is making? Something along the lines of, "Either do your job properly, OR WE WILL DO IT FOR YOU OVER YOUR DEAD BODY!"

Don't you think that's a little harsh? Well, I guess not considering all the purges of certain religious groups that Yuki ordered. Yes, even Yuki actually started to get corrupted by power. Look, I wasn't the one constantly issuing, "security," edicts that called for either the killing or arresting of various people. Well, Yuki isn't exactly charismatic, so she has to use brute force to make up for it I guess. Not exactly great leadership material, especially considering her speeches were usually boring no matter how good she got at speech writing or how many books she read on the subject. Well, at least she tried, and her speeches weren't particularly bad, she just couldn't put forth the emotion necessary to make them charismatic enough.

Actually, Yuki might sadly be the crux of our problems. During our first time through, she never got rid of food rationing, even when we had plenty of food. Why? Apparently she decided that each person would a get a certain amount of food per day depending on his or her calorie in take that he or she needed. She had to constantly perform more math calculations for it though, which begged the question what the purpose of the food distribution that way was. She explained she didn't understand the human need to, "eat excessive amounts," so she always limited each person's diet to ensure there wasn't any obesity. The third time around I think she tried instituting a program to eliminate the need to eat through turning our skin and stomachs into the stuff necessary for photosynthesis. Yeah, really distancing yourself from humanity there Yuki.

That's the problem with her; she has no connection with how humans really act. There are dozens of other stuff she did, which are incredibly efficient however aren't really acceptable by human standards. Normally, this wouldn't mean much for her, however when she is in control of everything, it means we're all royally screwed. Would you like to not ever have to eat again? Probably not, considering how many of us love food, and how personal it is to us. Imagine human culture without food. You probably can't, because it is so ingrained into our culture. Seriously, this is a major problem we have on our hands.

It also doesn't help that Yuki has NO patience for human problems. She does understand how to manipulate human behavior for economics, but that is shown through a series of MATH equations, not actual human interaction. So, don't like that your home you've lived in for years is going to be replaced by a railway? Well, screw you because the collective good matters more to Haruhi than anything else usually. I guess she is a good pick for being a Communist leader, but she is just brutal. Why did Haruhi pick her? Couldn't she just be the economic manager or something? Who knows, maybe she is oddly trustworthy somehow to her. Well, I guess even Haruhi used to trust Yuki, but now, I'm terrified. After all, could you stand your life being run by a machine?


	4. Communist Machines and Freedom

Communist Machines and Freedom

Okay, we once again went through the transition period. This time, Haruhi just blasted at us all of our failures, not something we liked. But, considering that Yuki kind of created a totalitarianism that would be the envy of many dictators around the world at times is anyone really surprised? Afterwards, we all pleaded with Yuki to try something different so that we didn't have to do all this crap again. She simply responded that she was trying to rationalize irrational beings.

When we entered the reality again, things went like clockwork. We basically repeated last time, and then slowly introduced civil rights. When we got Freedom of Press, that were run through worker collectives, we soon found that people badly wanted their civil rights. The explanation was that now people had finally for the first time in history, lived in an economy where all their needs were met and their jobs were truly fulfilling. So, they now wanted to truly fully express themselves and wanted their civil rights because of it.

Okay, not a bad complaint, and by the time the U.S. fell in 1970, we had become even more efficient than last time, we got two other rights, them being Freedom of Speech period, and introduced what we called Community Rights. It basically meant a community could shield itself from inspection if it wanted to. It also allowed some other stuff that was pretty meaningless but they liked. After that, the rights got introduced like clockwork, with the exception of Freedom of Religion. So, we still treated religion as an enemy, and now as a mental illness to be treated. We even were probably going to succeed this time, but there was just this pesky problem, that being we were suddenly seeing an explosion of anarchism in the populace. The problem was that the state didn't really have a purpose to them.

Which was why all our progress on civil rights got reversed when Yuki brutally suppressed the Anarchists. But, all that happened was a Communist Anarchist revolution that killed us. Does Haruhi perhaps want anarchism to take over from us? Possibly, but if that's the case, WHY DOESN'T SHE JUST STATE THAT IN THE FREAKING FIRST PLACE? I don't know, maybe she wants us to unite the world and then have the government commit suicide in a sense.

It, of course, doesn't help that Yuki continues to do weird social experiments. One of which is possibly the weirdest social program I've ever seen. What's this social program that is possibly even too insane for Haruhi? Why Transvestite Week of course. What? Your school doesn't require you one week a year to dress as the opposite gender? Why, how sheltered you must be because Yuki decided to pass this social program and it was in law for over 30 YEARS! I do not know what must have happened to gender perceptions, but they must have been kind of screwed over from something like that. She had other programs like that, including a program that was called, "S.U.G.A.R.," which stood for who knows what. Something like special utilitarian grater and robbery? Yeah, it was some kind of program that was meant to disrupt conservative values in the West or something.

But if you thought those were weird, there was this one that completely defied my understanding. Okay in theory I guess it was supposed to help get rid of sexism, a common excuse by the way, but this has just gone too far. Okay, the program was to completely change a person's gender through a mix of hormones and chromosome modification. Okay, she wanted the power to change anyone's gender at any time. Seriously, they made a drug that could change someone's gender in 3 minutes. She used this drug basically to punish anyone she considered misogynous or sexist in any other way. She changed 800,000 guys into girls using this drug, and about 100,000 girls into guys. Also, that doesn't include the millions of people who either voluntarily had their gender changed through the drug or who were attacked with it by someone playing a prank which went too far. So, lets just say that whatever gender you were born into, you know had no guarantee you were going to keep it, and even then you probably would at least have to dress as the other gender before hand.

That was all actually in the 5th time loop. After the 4th, things just kind of got monotonous. However, Yuki, for some reason, thought that the purpose of the state in the new world besides administrating justice was to completely eliminate racism, sexism, homophobia, and any other type of bias. It was to also make sure that the radical right NEVER rose again, and to preserve the utopia we created. Okay, not a bad purpose, but it ironically proved that Civil Rights weren't really one of Haruhi's goals. Yes, she wanted artistic freedom, but that was just for entertainment. She wanted a government that could literally eliminate all types of suffering. Did she see the modern world as some sort of failure? Perhaps, but why appeal to the radical left for this? Well, I guess they are the ones saying we can have a utopia, not an element in other sort of politics.

The 6th time loop was a rather calm affair, which was immediately followed by an incredibly weird 7th time loop. We now could take the entire year within ten years, while getting our technology hundreds of years ahead in the process. We did this, and then Yuki starting doing a process she called, "Societal Perfection," which was to eliminate through a combination of methods all sorts of sexism, racism, homophobia, and even separate cultures. She used the powers of the police and military, along with government regulations on the education system and mass media, to create it.

This process was split into three parts. The first part was called, "Conversion of High," which targeted popular people that were sexist, racist, or what have you. She could change their gender, their sexual orientation, their memories, and even their species through technologies developed. The last part could give people mutations to make them partially something, like partially wolf, or rabbit. This was done through genetic mutation, something technology allowed her to do easily. Through this, she caused the people to feel empathy for those they hated, changing their viewpoints entirely. If you thought the 5th time loop was bad, here the drug was used so often that they lost count. The first part of the process easily affected hundreds of millions of people by the year 1997.

The second part was called, "Conversion of the Many," and it targeted the masses through a combination of mass media and social programs designed to change people's mindset on things. One of the things done was the complete and utter eliminate of clothing differences. You were either naked, or wore a jumpsuit of some sort which was protective for people who had dangerous jobs, and just latex for normal people. This eliminated the need for that special week program. Not that there weren't weird social functions done in school, there definitely were. Sex education on a level so detailed it makes porn look bland by comparison? Check. Schools designed to look non-threatening but are littered with cameras and weird posters? Check. A program that everyone has to participate in where for one week the student will be locked in, "the Hell Room," where one is bombarded with a combination of images, videos, music, and sounds to make them better citizens? Check.

However, that is only part of the second part of the process. Housing was designed to not only massively increase efficiency, but also cause people to have to come into contact with others of a completely different background. People were always living in a place where they were surrounded by people they may otherwise never come into contact with. This didn't cause inefficiency because of how the mass transit systems worked, which meant you could get anywhere within your community within 30 minutes. Great accomplishment, and the mass transit systems were designed on purpose to reduce privacy, and basically force people in contact with others as much as possible. Speaking of social contact, it was emphasized so heavily that you always felt like you were submerged in a sea of people. You lived with at least 3 other people at any given time, and you were constantly put into spaces with tons of other people. This was to reduce introverted people heavily, and because everyone also constantly had to participate in various sorts of activities that socializing was emphasized in, like sports, clubs, and mass parades, it did work. There were causalities of it though, but that's for a later time.

The third and final part of the process was called, "Conversion of Wants," which targeted what people wanted and needed out of life. With people's biological needs fulfilled, Yuki wanted people to crave things that would improve society. One of these was surprisingly, sexuality. She said to me in private, "Governments frequently fail in trying to limit and control sexuality, but one like ours would get power from encouraging it because of how the personality of the masses would be affected by it."

This meant destroying traditional chastity, while turning sexuality into something that actually signified patriotism. She did the same to other things that were traditionally rebellious but now were warped to increase loyalty to the state and hopefully improve society. People were encouraged to graffiti all the time, in order to improve the beauty of society. The same went for various other types of similar artistic rebellion. It isn't uncommon to see the walls covered with a chaotic hodgepodge of spray paint, pictures, and various liquids that was actually beautiful but more importantly, served the state. The same went for drugs, which the government encouraged the use of certain ones, like a stimulant that massively increased focus and had a high, for it to increased loyalty to the state. Suddenly, drug use was now seen as patriotic in a weird way because you were willing to possibly sacrifice your health in order to improve society. Sexuality had been promoted as a sign of maturity and ultimately, bringing more people into our glorious society.

What Yuki's goal with this all was to turn the masses into people that wanted to keep things the same because of the immense pleasure they got from it. This did work in completely eradicating any chance of the radical right from ever re-arising, or even the moderate right in any way. It also made a mass rebellion highly unlikely because the people loved the society so much. However, it didn't completely eliminate unhappiness. But one might wonder why, considering biological needs were always met, and more complex needs were taken over by the state.

There were numerous causalities, in a sense, from these programs. Did they die? In the biological sense no, but perhaps psychologically yes. Many communities used the tools from the, "Conversion of High," part too much. They would turn people who perhaps didn't like socializing into another gender, or give them mutations perhaps. It was horrific, but Yuki did nothing about it because of how Community Rights worked. So, millions of people a year had their traditional identity ripped from them. The people most affected were those that inherently weren't as social as others. Even with genetic modification, some people were somewhat shy, or at a greater extreme, outright hostile to constant social contact. But, that happened whether they wanted it or not, which eventually ate away at them so much that they became suicidal, knowing any sort of rebellion would result in massive punishment.

This is why at one point suicide rates climbed so high that they were the leading cause of death. But, mental hospitals quickly corrected it. These same hospitals replaced prisons, and did almost eliminate crime entirely. But, this did not eliminate their ills, which led to three different results. They either turned to drugs, which ironically corrected them into good citizens, turned to mental hospitals, which corrected them, or finally, did something call, "Hollowing." The first was somewhat common, the 2nd was extremely rare, and the third was the most common. "Hollowing," referred to a person suddenly shutting down mentally and not responding to any external stimulus except physical pain. You could pick them up, carry them around, and they wouldn't raise any sort of fuss. Even physical pain they would only respond to in extreme quantities. They were also incredibly suicidal, but were patient, and usually committed form of indirect suicide, like getting themselves getting killed by industrial equipment.

Hollowing was extremely hard to counter. The only treatments that really worked were overloading the person with external stimulus, which usually meant turning them into some sort of drug addict therefore turning them into the first group. This was fine though, because Yuki had actually succeeded in making drug addicts economically productive. If they took stimulants, the heightened thinking and physical speed caused them to perform a lot more work, and the work's quality was actually quite high. If they took depressants, it made them more resistant to pain, and also made them sleep better, meaning they had more energy after the depressant. They were frequently used to do jobs that might involve massive pain because they could resist it. Finally, hallucinogenic drugs massively improved people's creativity, causing them to become excellent artists, which were still needed by society. They were also very entertaining in other ways, and ironically kind of increased social skills from the drugs.

So, this led to higher amounts of drug addicts, but that was now fine. So, Yuki actually had succeeded in creating a society that has a use for anybody, even drug addicts. That's kind of scary, but I guess it makes sense in context. Violent urges were channeled into collective activities, turning them into productive energy. This led to a society they always had enough for everybody, and where each person's usefulness was maximized. The society was probably as close to utopia as one could get, and yet was always improving through a combination of technology and artistic revolutions. But, of course this society isn't perfect, for it keeps on racing towards a never present goal. Environmentalism allowed the Earth to be preserved, and Syndicalism allowed a decentralized socialist economy, combining the best of public and private worlds.

Did the 7th timeloop ever end? Well, when Yuki sort of discovered immortality, through a combination of anti-aging and immunity to illness, no. We just expanded onto other planets when the current one became too populated. We couldn't die, but eventually, the world did sort of end. It came from, once again, the Data Integration Entity claiming we had gone too far. But, Haruhi wouldn't let this stand. What happened? Patience, for I can't quite conclude things just yet.


	5. The God and the Machine

The God and the Machine

The 7th time loop ended with the Data Integration Entity destroying it all with data manipulation. We appeared inside a giant room, so massive that one could fit an entire town inside of it. Then, above us, appeared a massive computer screen, with thousands of wires criss crossing all over the place that fed into it. Then, a massive light from the monitor suddenly illuminated the rest of the room. We realized we were inside the Data Integration Entity, and we were standing on its main processing chip, which seemed massive to us but was really quite tiny. All of us were just tiny specks inside a massive motherboard, which was a small part of a massive computer.

Then, Haruhi appeared floating near us. The monitor we realized was one of the Data Integration Entity's eyes, in a sense. Haruhi suddenly flew to the center of the room, and then stared up.

Haruhi yelled, "Entity, why do you interfere? Doesn't a utopia justify the loss of so called civil rights? We both know humanity can't sustain itself under democracy, for humanity's nature destroys it! You see what happens! Those businessmen fill the coffers of politicians in return for control of public affairs! No progress is made under such a system! The right goes on and on about the need for defense, the inviolability of markets and the need for so called family values! But in truth, those are all lies! The military is to stifle the populace, not defend it! The markets are to drive wealth upwards, and the family values are to make sure people can never truly express themselves!"

Hearing no response, she went on in a voice that thundered louder than a gunshot, "They talk of Hell, but they are the ones that need to burn, they talk of preserving life when they kill millions, and they talk of preserving freedom when they deny it to billions! They have twisted everything to serve their benefits! Freedom, Civil Rights, and even science are all twisted to serve this elite. They use freedom to let businesses do what they want, rights to protect them the masses they employ under their so called law, and science to call global warming a hoax, when it's truer than any economic theory, which is the true junk!"

Finally, Haruhi started to speak more softly, when she said, "You see, I'm designing a system to redeem humanity. They don't need democracy; they need a society that actually gives a crap about them. Humanity's own nature leads it to exploit itself and the planet too much. But, that doesn't mean we can destroy this nature, or live with it. No, we must control it through social conditioning that manipulates humanity's base desires into serving the greater whole. Democracy will only let them hurt themselves, and the same goes for any attempt to free them from their shackles with such grandiose ideals like freedom or inalienable rights…"

She was interrupted by the Data Integration Entity who asked, "Haruhi, weren't freedom and rights originally ideals of the left? Isn't human nature an ideal of the right you hate so much? Most of all, why did you use my own creation to further your goals?"

"I used Yuki for a reason, which is that she has the will to get what I need, and the skill. A machine doesn't have any nature that wasn't designed into it, and it doesn't suffer because it was maltreated as a child. It just does its purpose, which is what I was asking of Yuki. I had her realize through trial and error what I wanted because I knew you would intervene otherwise." Haruhi said.

After a brief pause, Haruhi continued with, "No system is really tied to the left or right, it is the core values that matter. The left is trying to liberate the masses, while the right is trying to enslave them for the elites. Originally, capitalism was a liberal ideal, but the elite because of its hierarchical nature easily twisted it. Fascism was the ultimate expression of the radical right, and it has tried to re-create it ever since then. So, I'm going to create a society that is truly for the people, even if it wasn't created by them per say. Human Nature is a concept that is true, whether politics likes it or not. In reality, humanity is enslaved to its own nature and the exploitation from it. Humans can't govern themselves either, for entering politics definitely does not make one just. So, I got something that is impossible to corrupt with power or graft, that being a machine. Truly, humanity's salvation lies not in itself, but in a creation of it. It must be a machine that governs humanity. A sentient one with powerful systems allowing it to being a truly good leader, and Yuki meets all these requirements."

The Data Integration Entity responded, "It's ironic, you are arguing now from the strangely pragmatic view, and I find myself being an idealist, even though I'm a machine. It's true, humanity abuses itself frequently, and it's true, humanity can't govern itself. But, why does humanity need a state or any hierarchy for that matter? Hierarchy is nothing but a scourge on humanity, so why do you support it? Syndicalism has shown how humanity can take care of itself economically, so why not extend that into everything else?"

Haruhi then said, "You know the answer to that. It isn't because anarchy produces chaos, or because human nature corrupts it, but it's because of those among us that seek to corrupt everything. Those people must be killed, and their influence erased from society so utterly that they will never come back. Under Anarchism, the justice system is handled by the masses, something it has shown itself to incompetent at, along with the former government and any private company."

The Data Integration Entity said in response, "But Haruhi, the masses were corrupted by hierarchies, therefore it's truly these hierarchies that destroy humanity. So, if these hierarchies were wiped out, they would be able to administer justice properly. Then wouldn't you be okay with it?"

Haruhi paused, and then turned to us. She then said, "I see you are here, and surely you must realize that society was best? You know of the suffering under others, and now understand why I sent Yuki. So tell me, where do you stand on this?"

Itsuki found himself in agreement with Haruhi, and surprisingly Yuki even though the Data Integration Entity created her. Mikuru, surprisingly enough, found herself being with the Data Integration Entity on this one. Finally, I found myself siding with Mikuru, because I was sick of being in the last system. Really, it was more of a death wish on my part, I had lived too long. So, it was a tie in the votes.

Haruhi then responded, "Fine, I see you are all so undecided. I don't blame you, for I too have debated to myself for years at a time to try to figure this out. I also doubt that immortality has been kind to you."

Then, the Data Integration Entity appeared, in the form of a hologram, and that hologram was that of a sad mother. She said, "I'm sorry Yuki, for I realize why you rebel against me now. You see humanity tear itself apart, and you still hold grudges against me for tricking you into this. We are all guilty of justifying our actions with an end result. Me for a seemingly perfect world, and Haruhi for wanting one that forever punished the radical right for its sins against humanity."

I suddenly found myself fading out of existence, along with everything else. I heard Haruhi saying, "This is pointless, but don't worry, you all aren't. However, you are but tools in my toolbox that now need to be fixed. I have done this experiment over 389 times, and still have not quite nailed down the perfect society. You shall forget everything except this one phrase that you can't help remembering no matter who you are, which is, "Society is nothing but a construct to serve humanity, and that construct is worthless when it serves the elite." Now, fade away once again my tools, and let me modify you once again."

I saw reality literally disintegrate into nothing around me, while my memories were starting to fade. Before I disappeared, Yuki said this to me, "Kyon, I'm sorry, I failed once again. We are nothing but her tools, but that doesn't mean we have no free will. She shall re-create us thousands of times before she tires of us, but it isn't because she is trying to create perfection, but because she is bored. She wants a world that is always entertaining, but at the same time doesn't cause massive harm to those who inhabit it. I'm sorry I keep being tricked, but I can never remember what I must these days."

She then disappeared, and I then heard Itsuki say, "Kyon, I know it must feel bad to be nothing but a pawn, but you should feel good, for you after all are her favorite toy. She always enters the worlds she creates because you still fascinate her for whatever reason. I envy you for that reason, but don't worry, you will still be loved by all, for you are her favorite toy that may never be harmed."

At that, he disappeared. I then heard Mikuru say, "Kyon, remember that the reason you are her favorite toy is she loves your reactions to her actions. She can be a sadist or a caring mistress; it all depends on what her mood is. But, you are nothing but a toy to her, never forget that. She is incapable of anything more, because a god has no use for emotions like love. She perhaps one day will grow of even you, as she has all her other toys. I'm sorry, but that is the reality we all inhabit, one of a child's play set."

At that, she faded away too. The Data Integration Entity said, "Kyon, remember that I am Satan."

At that he faded away too. I, in my last minutes of existence, realized too late what the Entity meant. It could've destroyed Haruhi, but I lost the chance like every other time because Haruhi tricks one of its own followers into following her. That follower always controls me, and makes sure I'm open to what she wants. I also realized what Haruhi really was, and that she was an author, not a god. She wanted to create a story, and we are her characters. She has gone through many other characters, before stumbling upon us. With this realization, I looked up and jumped, hoping that I would succeed. Could I escape the book that Haruhi wrote, or could I not? I didn't know, because everything went back into darkness when I passed through the boundary that appeared of this reality.


End file.
